Roraima: What In Hell Was I Thinking?

My dad and my sister, both military reserve types, like to say that pain is weakness leaving the body. I say that pain is an excuse to sit down and drink beer which is exactly what we did at the end of day five after the epic walk down the tepui. Fuck me backwards it [...]

A Day On The Lost World

Roraima 101. It's one of a range of tepuis that stretch through Parque Nacional Canaima in Venezuela, a tepui being a flat topped mountain that holds particular spiritual significance for the indigenous people known collectively as the Pemon people which, as Marco told us, isn't entirely accurate. There are three tribes that inhabit the Gran [...]

Roraima: The Epic Climb

Fucking puri-puri. It doesn't matter how much you cover yourself with clothing or coat yourself with a layer of DEET or that hippy baby oil plus Vitamin B12 crap, as soon as you drop your trousers to pee they hone in on your pasty white arse reflecting in the moon light as the welts on [...]

Roraima Day 1: I’m Not Sure Why I’m Doing This

I'm not too sure how I found out about the Roraima Trek in Venezuela's Gran Sabana, part of the breath-taking Parque Nacional Canaima. It's in the Lonely Planet so it could have been that or maybe it was because I met a few people whilst I was holed up in Manaus feeling very sorry for [...]

And Exactly What Are You Doing In Venezuela?

I admit it, I was already a wee bit stressed about Venezuela after all the stories of police corruption I'd heard from travellers that were passing through Manaus fresh from the country, but I had my little heart set on a few places and with the political situation in the country rapidly deteriorating (don't ask [...]

How To Milk A Rubber Tree

Yeah I know, day four of a three day jungle trip. Maths was never my strong point… I was meant to leave yesterday after rice, beans and over-salted meat time but I was easily coerced into an extra night with the promise of the paddling yesterday afternoon. Anyway, my extra night also got me a [...]

Day Three Of The Jungle Tour

By the time I emerged from my swinging pit, coffee was already on the table and pineapple had already been peeled and chopped. I fuelled my new caffeine and fruit addiction, picked at my new bites and became slightly concerned about the spreading rash on my back I'd been ignoring. Hmm. It wasn't that big [...]

In The Jungle, Brazilian Amazon Edition

Edit, 22/04/2020: This post was written back in 2010. Since then I have educated myself a lot more with regards to animal tourism and I now understand that yanking animals, in this case caimans, from the wild to maul them for our own entertainment is not in any way acceptable. I would never go on [...]

I’m (Mostly) On A Boat

Well there aren't many roads up in this part of the world are there which means your transport options are limited to air travel which is quick and only requires your first born as payment or, for miserly buggers like myself who prefer a bit of scenery with their relocation, boat. River travel is the [...]