Made For Mushrooms

I fucking hate mushrooms. I always have. I dislike the taste, the smell and the texture. Cooked mushrooms are how I would imagine slugs to taste, mushroom soup represents all that is wrong with cuisine and don't get me started on raw mushrooms. It's a fungus! A mould! You're eating fucking mould! There was some [...]

Grog, Gunpowder & Coffee

Salento is in the heart of Colombia's Zona Cafetera which says it all really ay. Oh well, sleep is for the weak. I got here two nights ago from Medellín after dark, checked into The Plantation House and met a few people who'd already been there for varying lengths of time. Apparently it's one of [...]

A Very, Very Short Time In Medellín

Sooo… Medellín. Didn't think much of it to be honest but then again I didn't stay here for long enough to give it a proper chance. It used to be the cocaine trafficking capital of the world. It ain't that interesting anymore although you can do a Pablo Escobar tour where they take you around [...]

The Journey Vs The Destination

I've come to the conclusion that there's an extra Insanity Section in the Highway Code that all Colombian bus drivers have to pass before they're granted a license to transport people from place to place. Exercises include overtaking at high speed on blind corners, not slowing down for hazards until the last possible second and [...]

Cartagena Plus A Vat Of Volcanic Mud

There are three obvious types of people in Cartagena; Gringos, cops and dealers. There are others of course, going about their daily lives, but as you walk through Getsemani it seems that everyone wants to sell you cocaine or weed. Um, apart from the cops of course, they just want to stop and search you [...]

Well That Was Overrated

I'd been trying to ignore the fact that Venezuela and Colombia weren't talking to each other as I travelled though the former on the way to the latter. The two countries have never been particularly fond of each other and shit went down a couple of days after I got into Venezuela causing Chavez to [...]

General Mérida-ness

My main reason for visiting Mérida was to see the Catatumbo Lightning near Lago De Maracaibo but as it turns out the town as a whole is a pretty pleasant place to be and I liked it from the minute I stepped off the bus and wasn't descended on by men shouting repetitive place names [...]

A Love/Hate Coffee Affair And Some Lightning

After I bid Freddy goodbye and jumped off the bus in Barquisimeto, I had it in my naïve little head that I'd be able to get a bus straight away to Mérida, one of Venezuela's most popular tourist destinations, slap bang in the middle of the high season. My delusions were soon brought crashing down [...]

Salto Ángel: Size Matters

Size does matter, sorry guys but it's the truth. Why else would anyone pay the slightly ridiculous amounts of money to fly into Parque Nacional Canaima to check out Salto Ángel if it wasn't the highest motherfucking single drop waterfall in the whole damn world at 979 metres? Hmm? Why indeed. Once you've parted with [...]