The Elusive Tiger. Really, Really Elusive

So. Sawai Madhopur. The gateway to the Ranthambore National Park which is where people flock to gawp at wildlife from some manner of vehicle in the hope that one of the creatures mincing through the undergrowth will be a tiger. I rocked up to Hotel Aditya and was informed by a ridiculously cheerful bloke wearing [...]

Brace Yourself At Fatehpur Sikri

If you're going to Fatehpur Sikri you might want to take along a fuck off great big stick to fend off the traders in the free-entry square. A huge stick, with nails in the end. Or a chainsaw. Or a flamethrower. You can handle sellers that call to you from the side of the road [...]

The Moment We’ve All Been Waiting For

There's nowt like sipping a freezing cold Kingfisher on a roof terrace whilst gawping at the Taj Mahal. I believe beer is essential fuel when preparing oneself to do battle with the endless touts wanting you to change money or book a bus ticket, auto and cycle rickshaw drivers persistently offering you the services of [...]

Temples And Talents

That thing where a temple won't allow photography and to enforce this they look inside your bag, advise you to submit phones and cameras to the cloakroom along with your bag, put you through a metal detector then thoroughly frisk you and check inside all of your pockets. I'm not even shitting you. Unless you [...]

So Far, So Good

Ok. Fine. I admit it. Lemon, ginger and honey tea appears to be just as good at fighting cold and flu symptoms as pseudoephedrine. There, I said it. I draw the line at wearing brightly coloured woollens and stinking the place out with patchouli incense though, I'm not that much of a fucking hippy yet. [...]

Sorry, Legs. It Was Worth It Though!

Sunday 12th October Oh sunrise. I love you, but why do you have to be so fucking early? Glaring at my alarm didn't stop it from being 3.30am either. To be fair the tour wasn't leaving until 4.30, I didn't have to be up at that god awful hour, but when a start is this [...]

Water Everywhere… Maybe Don’t Drink It Though

Friday 10th October Ahh, there's nothing like a nice, long walk in the searing heat ay. Especially when you're not exactly renowned for your sense of direction since that time you had to ask for directions out of a Marks & Spencers store because you'd just spent the last 10 minutes wandering around in circles [...]

The Kindness Of Strangers

Well I'm finally in Rishikesh which means I'm not sweating like a blind lesbian in a fish shop for the first time in four days. Not that I've used my ability to walk around whilst not losing a litre of fluid an hour through my face much. I've had a bit of a stroll, photographed [...]