Two Nights On Dartmoor

Well Dartmoor started off well enough with lovely, defined trails and well placed stiles that were taller than we are. For all intents and purposes, Dartmoor was a fucking doddle, despite the clouds looming closer, the kind of clouds you don't really want to see when you're just embarking on a three day hike with [...]

The Beast That Is Mt Santubong

Mount Santubong is the big, pointy mountain that you can't fucking miss as you ride into Santubong unless you've had your eyes gouged out by an angry macaque because you refused to hand over your crisps. It looks steep. It is steep. I don't know why we thought we were in any manner of physical [...]

Rafting The Padas River

I like rafting but I don't like rafting enough to be picked up from my hotel at five fucking twenty in the morning to travel for a million hours to a river that I'll only be spending about ninety minutes on. In order to avoid this we travelled to a little town called Beaufort, which [...]

Kinabatangan Adventures With Mr Aji

It was probably around 6am when we rolled out of bed and shuffled (because shuffling is about all my feet can do at that hour) to the restaurant for breakfast. It was misty as fuck! The restaurant is right on the river and whilst it seems a bit counter intuitive to say the view was [...]

Very Definitely In The Rainforest

We had plenty of time to fit as much scrambled egg, beans, unidentified battered stuff, and weird, tiny sausages into our faceholes as possible at breakfast before waddling to the meeting point at the cafe at the Sepilok Oranguatan Rehabilitation centre at the delightfully sane hour of 10.20am where we were picked up by Woffie, [...]

Kinabalu National Park

This is probably the first time my sister has come to meet me overseas and we haven't done something utterly terrifying like a bungy jump or a skydive or a trek up a fucking hill to altitudes that your respiratory system would most definitely not approve of. She did want to climb Mt Kinabalu but [...]

Hungover Canyoneering

Yesterday was Tarrant's birthday and we decided to rent another scooter and head up to Osmeña Peak, the highest point in Cebu, because nothing says "happy birthday, baby, I love you" like hiking up a massive fucking hill. Never let it be said that I don't know how to treat a woman. A couple of [...]