Life In Pokhara

It wasn't all work and no play in Pokhara. There was lots of play. Sometimes too much play. So much play I don't know if my liver is ever going to forgive me for what I put it through. There are many fine bars that will happily assist you in the systematic destruction of your [...]

Varanasi – Part 1

"Meh. Varanasi. No strong opinions either way..." ...Said no one ever. I braced myself for Varanasi, I'd been told that you either love it or hate it, there was no in between in one of Hinduism's holiest cities. Varanasi was where one Danish bloke I met concluded that you don't come to India to enjoy [...]

The Mildly Pornographic Temples Of Khajuraho

I was hoping I could just sneak in a cheeky little photo blog for Khajuraho and be done with it because I thought it'd just be a bunch of pretty temples adorned with a spot of casual porn and I could simply snigger my way around them like the child I am then upload all [...]

Udhag… Udhagama… Bugger It. Ooty.

It was around 6am when I hopped off the bus in Udhagamandalam and all of the water in my face cells promptly froze. I'm not even shitting you. Ooty (as it's commonly known because Udhagamandalam just looks like drunk texting) is cold at this time of year. Fucking cold. We're talking frost on the ground, [...]

Sit There And Just Look Pretty, Sweetheart

Kodaikanal basically has one job and that's to sit there and look pretty, and it does it incredibly well. It's high up here, about 2100 m.a.s.l. so it gets pretty chilly at night which is basically a politer way of saying "Fuck my life, you could fashion diamonds with my nipples right now!" I'm not [...]

I Came, I Saw, I Selfied

Kanyakumari is basically as far south as you can go in India. If you tried to go any further south you'd probably drown. You wouldn't even know which ocean you actually drowned in either on account of the fact that this is where three oceans meet, it'd be like some manner of water inhalation lottery. [...]

Killing Time

Me and zoos have an uneasy relationship. On one hand, animals shouldn't be kept in captivity. If they've been plucked from the wild and enclosed in a zoo then that's not something I want to look at. Buuuut if they were born in captivity and that's all they know and the zoo treats them well [...]

Non-Stop Tourist Whirlwind (Just A Very Slow One)

Life in Fort Cochin is a non-stop adventure assuming that by "non-stop adventure" you mean sitting around a lot whilst consuming tea and cake. Other activities include walking around looking at the various tourist attractions, but really really slowly so you don't do everything in four minutes. More of a stroll, really. Or an amble. [...]

It’s Not Pretty But At Least It Has Tea

Train is definitely my favourite way to get around India ay. Buses are great and all that and you don't have to book half your life in advance but they're not as comfortable, you can't get up and walk around and if you decide you need the toilet well, that's just tough titties, sweetheart. Sometimes [...]

The “Oh But You MUST!” Guide To Udaipur

Vehicles in India have this slightly terrifying habit of driving up the wrong side of the road if they need to get somewhere on the right. Usually it's rickshaws or motorcycles and they aim for the edge of the road and often directly at pedestrians but y'know, this is something you get used to. So [...]