The day after the ATM Cave we booked to go to Barton Creek which is another Mayan cave but you canoe through this one. You can also take photos which is cool. We went with Maya Walks again and we were driven in a gloriously air conditioned pick up truck to the cave entrance where Tarrant was informed she’d be paddling. Not both of us, this wasn’t a sea kayak, just her. Well she’s stronger than me and I’d probably have a princess tantrum halfway through because my arms hurt or something. You’d think it’d be a piece of piss wouldn’t you but nope. Turns out she’d have to steer us around ancient rock formations and all without destroying them please. They won’t let things in the ATM cave lest you drop them but they’ll leave a tourist in charge of a boat.

Anyway, this is just a lovely cruise through a cave, at least it was for me. I was in charge of the powerful torch, a responsibility I took very seriously as I waved it around the cave to admire the stalactites and stalagmites and Tarrant hissed at me to keep it still so she could see where she was paddling. She’s quite the drama queen sometimes. Our guide told us we were going to visit Xibalba. The underworld. Oh. Comforting. Thanks, buddy. They’ve mostly removed a lot of the artifacts I think but we did see a few ceramics and at least one skull.

There were bats flitting around the place as we cruised along. Once you’re at the end you just turn around and come back. Tarrant skillfully negotiated us around a tight bend, a literal three point turn in a canoe, lots of swear words were uttered by her as I cheerfully snapped photos of rocks. Something about blinding her with the flash? Who knows. She was very, very pleased when we reached the big access hole and hadn’t inadvertently destroyed 10000 years worth of rock growth.

We’d opted for a waterfall add-on so we were taken to Big Rock Falls where we had to walk down some rickety steps that didn’t look like they had “Hold the weight of tourists” on its list of things to do today. You have to try really hard not to think about the fact you’ll have to walk all the way back up these when you’re finished. Oh but the reward is very much worth all the hate your knees are throwing at you right now. You have a but more stumbling over rocks to do before you reach the first big pool and the waterfall peeks out, a whole other pool further back. Obviously we had to get to it.

The pools are separated by a bank of granite as slippery as a Tory politician with a small but actually deceptively powerful cascade. It makes it remarkably difficult to get over them, there’s literally no graceful way of doing it either, you just have to sort of wriggle up the rocks, clinging onto whatever you can find, before belly-flopping onto them like a drunk whale. Then you have to shuffle along them and don’t even think about trying to stand up unless you want to faceplant the granite and sacrifice your front teeth to the Mayan gods before slipping into the plunge pool and fighting your way against the very force of nature itself. We clung to the rocks, unsure what to do now, when our guide told us to wait there and he’d show us how to get closer.

Well this was exhilarating. There’s a narrow channel and it’s shallow enough to stand up in, the water came high up my chest though. Then you turn your back to the waterfall which is doing everything within its quite substantial power to drown you right now, and you have to somehow push yourself back, bearing in mind you have literally no purchase on any of these rocks. I couldn’t get far at all but it was a shit tonne of fun trying. Tarrant didn’t fare much better than me then we just let the current take us.

That was a fun day out, I’m glad we added the waterfall on despite the eye-watering cost. We were fed the standard but delicious and filling Belizian fare of stew chicken and rice before we were taken back to San Ignacio. Just one more thing to do from here (there’s not, there’s loads more but we’re not millionaires) but we could do it easily on our own so that’s what we did on the Monday.

It took me three fucking days to learn how to say Xunantunich so I wouldn’t look like a dickhead in front of the bus assistant. Turned out I needn’t have worried, as we stepped towards the Benque bus that goes past the ruins he jumped out, pointed at us and said, “Xunantunich?” Well, yes. Thank you. Great. That place. Marvellous. We were deposited at the free hand-cranked ferry that would take us across the river before we walked the mile to the archaeological site. They use miles in Belize, it’s all very familiar except my brain is stuck in kilometre mode which is quite upsetting when you end up walking 1.6 times further than you thought you’d have to up a big hill.

We paid our entrance fee and headed to the visitor centre to learn some shit. You definitely need to come here if you want to know what’s going on or you’re just gawping at a bunch of admittedly impressive broken shit. We’d learned about the ball game and the importance of the ceiba tree in Copán but the information boards here went into a bit more detail which was pretty cool. The Mayans were mad for a ball game called pok-ta-pok which was basically keepy uppy using the arms, legs and thighs and the sloping walls of the court. The game was, and I quote, “actually a re-enactment of a game played between evil underworld gods and the mythical Hero Twins who defeated the gods of death in their quest to resurrect their father, the maize god.” You’d score points by getting the ball through a stone hoop. Sometimes they’d force noble prisoners to play against their royal captors in a rigged game where obviously the captives would lose, subsequently be decapitated, then have their heads placed on a skull rack. Definitely going to try and weave a skull rack for the heads of my enemies into our home decor when we get back. I’ll just tell Tarrant it’s for more plants and she’ll be so relieved when she finds it’s not she won’t even care about the blood pooling underneath it.

Anyway, this tree of life then. The Yaxche tree, or the ceiba tree as it’s known today was located at the centre of the earth and connected the three vertical plains. The trunk was planted on earth. The roots reached down into the underworld and the branches supported the heavens. To be fair you can see how the Mayans would think these trees were special, they’re proper chonky bois, very distinct trees with big trunks and branches jutting out at 90° angles. The heavens were divided into thirteen levels and were the home of the Oxlahuntiku, the thirteen sacred gods. The underworld was divided into nine levels and was where the Bolontiku lived, the evil gods of darkness. All heavenly bodies passed through the underworld after they set below the horizon every evening.

Our little brains packed full of knowledge, we made our way to the site itself where you’re completely allowed to climb up some ancient Mayan shit so this is exactly what we did. Oh deary me, it’s very high up though isn’t it? I mean, of course I’m going to do it, I want those sweet, sweet views, but damnit I’m not going to enjoy it and there will be a very real risk of my muscles refusing to obey my brain resulting in a panicked lesbian (it’s me, I’m the panicked lesbian) being frozen to the spot, utterly unable to move anywhere. Fuck’s sake, Belize. Install some fucking handrails or something rather than trusting tourists with a sheer drop off the side of a culturally important structure.

It was a great way to kill a few hours but I’m looking forward to crossing over into Guatemala and visiting Tikal to glean more Mayan related information. I’m also not completely done with Belize yet to be fair. I mean, we are right now, we’re definitely heading to Guatemala tomorrow, but we really want to come back some day and see more of the caves. Maybe head north, see some ruins there. I’d love to do more diving for sure, I’ve heard the diving from Hopkins is amazing. We’re also a little bit in love with Caye Caulker so we’ll be heading back there at some point for some chill time. It’s been a great 2.5 weeks though, it’s been more than we’ve expected. Until next time, Belize.

Jump to “Useful shit to know…”

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San Ignacio, Cayo District, Belize

Stayed at: Bella’s Backpackers, San Ignacio

Useful shit to know…

How To Get From Caye Caulker To San Ignacio

• San Pedro Belize Express offers the cheaper water taxis.
• If you buy online it’s US$21. If you buy it in the office they charge you BZ$33.
• Caribbean Sprinter are faster but charge US$30.
• The water taxi takes about fifty minutes, then you have to claim your bags which can take a while, then it’s about a fifteen minute walk to the bus station. Obviously you can take a taxi if you like.
• Several buses a day to go to San Ignacio from Belize City.
• You can buy your ticket at the station or on the bus from the assistant.
• You can ask which bus you’re meant to be getting on. It might terminate at Banque which is the border town.
• It took 2.5 hours and cost BZ$10.

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• We used Maya Walks for our tours as they have an excellent reputation. Turned out it was well deserved and the guides were excellent.
• If you only want to do the ATM cave there are cheaper options. You could probably get it for US$110 if you ask around.
• Maya Walks charge US$125 for ATM, US$95 for Barton Creek, and US$135 for Barton Creek with the Rock Falls add on.
• They did us a really good deal for booking two tours with them.

• You can sort of do Barton Creek independently, in that you can hire a car and drive yourself there, but then you’ll need to hire a guide from Mike’s Place for the canoeing section.
• Check out their website for tour options and prices.
• You’ll definitely want an AWD or 4WD for this route and you’ll need to ford at least one river.
• Big Rock Falls is free to enter and you can just drive yourself there.

• To get to Xunantunich just head to the Welcome to Cayo building in San Ignacio and loiter around coordinates 17.158955, -89.069436.
• Get on a bus going to Benque.
• It didn’t take long, not even half an hour I don’t think, and it cost BZ$2.50 per person.
• You’ll be dropped at the ferry which is free. They might take your details so they know if they’ve lost any tourists.
• If the police take your details don’t forget to let them know when you get back so they can tick you off their list.
• It’s a hilly one mile (1.6 kilometres) walk to the site. There’s no transport unless you brought your own or are in a taxi. The ferry also takes vehicles.
• It cost BZ$10 per person to visit Xunantunich.
• The only information is in the visitor centre, there’s nothing to tell you what you’re looking at once you’re there.