Travel & Shit


Myself and my partner are going to be hiking from Eastbourne to Lands End to John O Groats in a National Trail crushing extravaganza for shits ‘n’ giggs. We may need to revaluate what we consider “fun”. We were only going to do LEJOG, but as we started looking at the route we decided to use the north section of the South West Coast Path to make a start and eventually figured it’d be rude not to start in Poole and do the whole thing. That somehow morphed into “might as well tag the South Downs Way onto the start of that” and I have no idea why but I’m guessing wine might have played a role in that decision.

I will likely be very, very behind on the blog but the main page with every post I’ve written so far will be HERE and the latest are below. I hope it’s at least mildly entertaining. If you enjoy it please consider buying me a beer so me and the mrs can have a valid reason to slob around in pubs to charge our phones whilst upsetting the locals with our hiker stench.



Day 79, 30/06/2022, 16 miles Day 78, 29/06/2022, 21.22 miles Day 77, 28/06/2022, 13 miles Day 76, 27/06/2022, 14.9 miles Day 75, 26/06/2022, 17.4 miles Day 74, 25/06/2022, 15.2 miles

Day 35 – Falmouth to Carne

Well it’s rude not to have a little lie in when you’re allowed to be where you are isn’t it? Plus there was literally no point in rushing this morning. We were about ten miles from the Helford Ferry which…

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Day 34 – Bohortha to Falmouth

We fell asleep to the sound of the waves crashing onto the rocks far below us and woke up to birds chirping in the hedgerow we’d pitched next to. Oh, and the sound of rain belting down on the tent.…

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Day 33 – Dodman Point to Bohortha

Another absolute stunner of a night’s sleep but yeah nah, didn’t need any of that beer yesterday. It’s not like we drank a lot but my entire being made it very clear that my age doesn’t begin with a two…

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Day 32 – Black Head to Dodman Point

The hideous steps between St Austell and Mevagissey were foretold by a chap I talk to on Instagram. Aaall the way down to come aaall the way back up. They’re really quite upsetting but they’re not actually relentless (I’m looking…

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Day 31 – East Combe to Black Head

It’s amazing what a difference a flat pitch makes. I slept so well that when the alarm went off I went back to sleep which is very much a Tarrant trick. I’m usually straight up and having to periodically nudge…

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Day 30 – Portwrinkle to East Combe

Fuck my life what an awful night’s sleep. Clearly our definition of acceptably slopey is getting more and more liberal as the trail presents less and less places to camp. The slope we were on meant I didn’t even have…

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Day 29 – Plymouth to Portwrinkle

We figured we might as well have a nice, chilled start to the day, largely because literally any excuse to be a little bit lazy, plus we didn’t have to check out until 11am. We treated ourself to a lie…

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Day 28 – Bovisand Beach to Plymouth

It was meant to be sunny when we woke up but it was still very much wet and windy. Thanks, Met Office. I think we can safely ignore the weather forecast as we move closer to Cornish territory, though obviously…

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Previous Shit…

This is a blog I started in order to write shit down when I travelled so I’d remember it regardless of how many brain calls I systematically replaced with house white wine over the following years. It’s very sweary and largely self-indulgent but that’s pretty much why blogs were invented.

Bite Sized Adventures In The United Kingdom

A collection of bite sized adventures that occur during that “annual leave” thing people tend to do in order to furnish their Instagram page with photos that don’t involve black and white selfies with the cat. Mostly involves being damp in a tent.

Malta 2019

Apparently you can’t just go off gallivanting around the world for several months on a whim. Something to do with jobs and responsibilities and blah blah blah. You can, however, fuck off to a tiny island nation for a week and try and fit as much in as you would on a months long trip before probably collapsing with exhaustion.

South East Asia 2017

This was the first big trip I took with the mrs and yes, we’re still together. You never know how these things will pan out do you? Okay, so we get on just fine at home sat on the sofa binge watching Star Trek whilst shovelling Doritos into our chops, but would this translate well into living in each other’s pockets for weeks at a time in Tropical heat? You learn a lot about yourself and your limits when you travel, and we learned that we function well as a team. We also learned that there will literally be no mystery left in your relationship when you’ve spent the night in very close quarters whilst one or both of you projectile your stomach contents from one end or the other.

India & Nepal 2014 – 2015

The most incredible trip in two of the most amazing countries. You can’t really prepare for India, you just have to sort of show up and try to get used to it. The noise, the chaos, the poverty. This is all offset by some of the best food you’ll ever apply liberally to your facehole, and the genuine warmth of the people. Not the ones that work in tourism though, they want all of your money and will lie to your face to get it. As for Nepal, it feels calm in comparison, and the Nepali people are so friendly, and those views! Those mountain views will take your breath away. Assuming the altitude hasn’t already done that for you.

South America 2010

I rocked up to Buenos Aires looking every inch the tourist to begin my adventure around South America, my worldly belongings strapped to my torso and the “look at me, I’m totally lost and vulnerable” look plastered across my face, able to conjugate exactly one verb in Spanish and ask someone when their birthday is. I might as well have had “Please Rob Me” tattooed on my forehead. I’ve no idea how I even made it to my hostel in one piece. What commenced was an epic eight month adventure packed with waterfalls, fried street food and leg-numbing hikes. I loved every sweaty second of it.