Travel & Shit


Myself and my partner are going to be hiking from Eastbourne to Lands End to John O Groats in a National Trail crushing extravaganza for shits ‘n’ giggs. We may need to revaluate what we consider “fun”. We were only going to do LEJOG, but as we started looking at the route we decided to use the north section of the South West Coast Path to make a start and eventually figured it’d be rude not to start in Poole and do the whole thing. That somehow morphed into “might as well tag the South Downs Way onto the start of that” and I have no idea why but I’m guessing wine might have played a role in that decision.

I will likely be very, very behind on the blog but the main page with every post I’ve written so far will be HERE and the latest are below. I hope it’s at least mildly entertaining. If you enjoy it please consider buying me a beer so me and the mrs can have a valid reason to slob around in pubs to charge our phones whilst upsetting the locals with our hiker stench.




Day 4 – Storrington to Didling Hill

We’ve been dragging our unwilling carcasses out of bed at some ludicrously early hours, not out of any burning desire to watch the new day dawn but that’s a happy side effect. We get up early because we’re not meant…

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Day 3 – Pyecombe to Storrington

I don’t think I’ve ever woken up in a church on Good Friday before. I’m surprised a godless heathen like myself didn’t burn up as soon as I laid out my sleeping bag. I slept so bloody well though, probably…

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Day 2 – Firle(ish) to Pyecombe

I didn’t sleep well at all last night. We were pitched on a slight slope and my mat is slightly slippy and my sleeping bag is slightly slippy which meant I frequently woke up crumpled at the bottom of the…

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Day 1 – Eastbourne to Firle(ish)

We’d decided to start our trip with the South Downs Way as it’s our local trail and we’ve wanted to do the whole thing for ages. We also decided to start with the Beachy Head loop on account of it…

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Lands End To John O Groats… PLUS

On account of the fact the world went to shit and no one really knew if or when international travel will return to some manner of normal, we scrapped all plans to lounge on a beach somewhere beautiful and hot…

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Previous Shit…

This is a blog I started in order to write shit down when I travelled so I’d remember it regardless of how many brain calls I systematically replaced with house white wine over the following years. It’s very sweary and largely self-indulgent but that’s pretty much why blogs were invented.

Bite Sized Adventures In The United Kingdom

A collection of bite sized adventures that occur during that “annual leave” thing people tend to do in order to furnish their Instagram page with photos that don’t involve black and white selfies with the cat. Mostly involves being damp in a tent.

Malta 2019

Apparently you can’t just go off gallivanting around the world for several months on a whim. Something to do with jobs and responsibilities and blah blah blah. You can, however, fuck off to a tiny island nation for a week and try and fit as much in as you would on a months long trip before probably collapsing with exhaustion.

South East Asia 2017

This was the first big trip I took with the mrs and yes, we’re still together. You never know how these things will pan out do you? Okay, so we get on just fine at home sat on the sofa binge watching Star Trek whilst shovelling Doritos into our chops, but would this translate well into living in each other’s pockets for weeks at a time in Tropical heat? You learn a lot about yourself and your limits when you travel, and we learned that we function well as a team. We also learned that there will literally be no mystery left in your relationship when you’ve spent the night in very close quarters whilst one or both of you projectile your stomach contents from one end or the other.

India & Nepal 2014 – 2015

The most incredible trip in two of the most amazing countries. You can’t really prepare for India, you just have to sort of show up and try to get used to it. The noise, the chaos, the poverty. This is all offset by some of the best food you’ll ever apply liberally to your facehole, and the genuine warmth of the people. Not the ones that work in tourism though, they want all of your money and will lie to your face to get it. As for Nepal, it feels calm in comparison, and the Nepali people are so friendly, and those views! Those mountain views will take your breath away. Assuming the altitude hasn’t already done that for you.

South America 2010

I rocked up to Buenos Aires looking every inch the tourist to begin my adventure around South America, my worldly belongings strapped to my torso and the “look at me, I’m totally lost and vulnerable” look plastered across my face, able to conjugate exactly one verb in Spanish and ask someone when their birthday is. I might as well have had “Please Rob Me” tattooed on my forehead. I’ve no idea how I even made it to my hostel in one piece. What commenced was an epic eight month adventure packed with waterfalls, fried street food and leg-numbing hikes. I loved every sweaty second of it.