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This is a blog I started in order to write shit down when I travelled so I’d remember it regardless of how many brain calls I systematically replaced with house white wine over the following years. Hopefully it’ll help people plan their trip but it probably won’t because it’s largely a self-indulgent collection of poorly punctuated posts littered with enough unnecessary swear words to make Gordon Ramsey blush. Basically I just like doing cool stuff and looking at pretty shit then telling the Internet about it.

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Listed below in reverse order of visiting, because alphabetical would make life far too easy. Click on it to be taken to the relevant blog posts which will also all be listed in reverse order because that’s pretty much just how blogs work.

Apparently you can’t just go off gallivanting around the world for several months on a whim. Something to do with jobs and responsibilities and blah blah blah. You can, however, fuck off to a tiny island nation for a week and try and fit as much in as you would on a months long trip before probably collapsing with exhaustion.
This was the first big trip I took with the mrs and yes, we’re still together. You never know how these things will pan out do you? Okay, so we get on just fine at home sat on the sofa binge watching Star Trek whilst shovelling Doritos into our chops, but would this translate well into living in each other’s pockets for weeks at a time in Tropical heat? You learn a lot about yourself and your limits when you travel, and we learned that we function well as a team. We also learned that there will literally be no mystery left in your relationship when you’ve spent the night in very close quarters whilst one or both of you projectile your stomach contents from one end or the other.
The most incredible trip in two of the most amazing countries. You can’t really prepare for India, you just have to sort of show up and try to get used to it. The noise, the chaos, the poverty. This is all offset by some of the best food you’ll ever apply liberally to your facehole, and the genuine warmth of the people. Not the ones that work in tourism though, they want all of your money and will lie to your face to get it. As for Nepal, it feels calm in comparison, and the Nepali people are so friendly, and those views! Those mountain views will take your breath away. Assuming the altitude hasn’t already done that for you.

The most recent shit I’ve gotten around to posting. It’s in reverse order, because of course it is.

Two Nights On Dartmoor (7/3/2019) - Well Dartmoor started off well enough with lovely, defined trails and well placed stiles that were taller than we are. For all intents and purposes, Dartmoor was a fucking doddle, despite the clouds looming closer, the kind of clouds you don’t really want to see when you’re just embarking on a three day hike with […]
A Rainy Day On Gozo (3/16/2019) - We were up at an hour even the ubiquitous sparrows would have raised a sleepy eyebrow at to catch an early ferry over to Gozo with the intention of watching the sunrise from Malta’s smaller sister. Yeah nah so that wasn’t going to happen. As we sat in the small queue of cars to board […]
A Day Of Purposeful Meandering (3/14/2019) - We fully intended to walk every inch of Comino today, the tiny, car-free island between Malta and Gozo, but it seemed the ferries weren’t running, possibly on account of the fact the winds of the other day had started up again. We got to the ferry terminal (the Gozo one is obvious) and were directed […]
Wreck Diving In Malta (3/13/2019) - The diving gods must have been smiling on me when I booked my day of diving a few weeks ago. Yesterday the winds were so bad there would have been no way to safely enter and exit the water but today was beautiful and calm with not a cloud in the sky, though I was […]
More Temples And A Sod Off Great Big Church (3/12/2019) - Today we’d be heading to the Ħal Saflieni Hypogeum and we figured we’d get a bus to save us dicking around with parking. As we loitered outside waiting for it to open, periodically wiping the grit from our eyes that the brutal fucking winds sweeping across the island kept depositing in there, Tarrant asked, “What […]
Fishing Boats And Stone Age Temples (3/11/2019) - We chose Malta before we researched it on account of it being really fucking tiny. Seriously, you could stand on one side and spit to the other. I mean, don’t, because that would be gross. But you could. We wanted an entire country that we could potentially see in a week and given that the […]
Bako Is The Best (10/18/2017) - Our final Sarawak national park was to be Bako which is probably the most popular of the lot despite it being an absolute ball ache to get to. You can’t just nip there, you can only get in and out by boat but despite this you’ll still need to think about booking your accommodation several […]
The Beast That Is Mt Santubong (10/13/2017) - Mount Santubong is the big, pointy mountain that you can’t fucking miss as you ride into Santubong unless you’ve had your eyes gouged out by an angry macaque because you refused to hand over your crisps. It looks steep. It is steep. I don’t know why we thought we were in any manner of physical […]
Even More Massive Flowers (10/12/2017) - Gunung Gading is home to the rafflesia, the fuck off great big flower we’d seen in Poring but wanted to put in our eyeholes again, largely because we were on a Sarawak National Park mission. It’s pretty out of the way though and there’s not much point in going if it’s not blooming but they […]
Frog Bothering At Kubah (10/10/2017) - You don’t come to Kubah National Park and not indulge in a spot of nocturnal frog bothering. They’re all over the place but the best place to find them is at the frog pond, 1.3kms from reception and just off the sealed road, so it’s a piece of piss to find. Frogs prefer being out […]