Myself and my partner are going to be hiking from Eastbourne to Lands End to John O Groats in a National Trail crushing extravaganza for shits ‘n’ giggs. We may need to revaluate what we consider “fun”. We were only going to do LEJOG, but as we started looking at the route we decided to use the north section of the South West Coast Path to make a start and eventually figured it’d be rude not to start in Poole and do the whole thing. That somehow morphed into “might as well tag the South Downs Way onto the start of that” and I have no idea why but I’m guessing wine might have played a role in that decision.
I will likely be very, very behind on the blog but the main page with every post I’ve written so far will be HERE and the latest are below. I hope it’s at least mildly entertaining. If you enjoy it please consider buying me a beer so me and the mrs can have a valid reason to slob around in pubs to charge our phones whilst upsetting the locals with our hiker stench.


Day 37 – Black Head (nr. Coverack) to The Lizard
Woke up dry and warm. No woodlouse took up residence in my objects. I’m calling the lookout a win. We had a look around the headland a little bit, said our goodbyes to Daniel, and off we fucked. The trail…
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Day 36 – Carne to Black Head (nr. Coverack)
Tarrant was most unhappy about the slug to tent ratio this morning and to be honest the slime trails criss-crossing the tent even made me a bit uncomfortable. Had they all had some manner of slug orgy on our roof…
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Day 35 – Falmouth to Carne
Well it’s rude not to have a little lie in when you’re allowed to be where you are isn’t it? Plus there was literally no point in rushing this morning. We were about ten miles from the Helford Ferry which…
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Day 34 – Bohortha to Falmouth
We fell asleep to the sound of the waves crashing onto the rocks far below us and woke up to birds chirping in the hedgerow we’d pitched next to. Oh, and the sound of rain belting down on the tent.…
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Day 33 – Dodman Point to Bohortha
Another absolute stunner of a night’s sleep but yeah nah, didn’t need any of that beer yesterday. It’s not like we drank a lot but my entire being made it very clear that my age doesn’t begin with a two…
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Day 32 – Black Head to Dodman Point
The hideous steps between St Austell and Mevagissey were foretold by a chap I talk to on Instagram. Aaall the way down to come aaall the way back up. They’re really quite upsetting but they’re not actually relentless (I’m looking…
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Day 31 – East Combe to Black Head
It’s amazing what a difference a flat pitch makes. I slept so well that when the alarm went off I went back to sleep which is very much a Tarrant trick. I’m usually straight up and having to periodically nudge…
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Day 30 – Portwrinkle to East Combe
Fuck my life what an awful night’s sleep. Clearly our definition of acceptably slopey is getting more and more liberal as the trail presents less and less places to camp. The slope we were on meant I didn’t even have…
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Day 29 – Plymouth to Portwrinkle
We figured we might as well have a nice, chilled start to the day, largely because literally any excuse to be a little bit lazy, plus we didn’t have to check out until 11am. We treated ourself to a lie…
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Day 28 – Bovisand Beach to Plymouth
It was meant to be sunny when we woke up but it was still very much wet and windy. Thanks, Met Office. I think we can safely ignore the weather forecast as we move closer to Cornish territory, though obviously…
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This is a blog I started in order to write shit down when I travelled so I’d remember it regardless of how many brain calls I systematically replaced with house white wine over the following years. It’s very sweary and largely self-indulgent but that’s pretty much why blogs were invented.
Bite Sized Adventures In The United Kingdom

Malta 2019

South East Asia 2017

India & Nepal 2014 – 2015

South America 2010
