I love public buses. No, wait, that’s a complete lie. I love public buses in countries that aren’t the UK. I get a lot of joy out of using public transport whilst travelling but if I’ve got to do it back home I find it overpriced and unreliable. Y’know, all those things I don’t give a flying fuck about when I’m off on my jollies. But I do love exploring new places by public transport and I do like to shoehorn at least one bus or train experience into a trip, often much to Tarrant’s chagrin. Today would be that day. We jumped on a bus just outside of the old town walls and about 40 minutes later we were deposited in Risan, just a bit further around the bay from Kotor.

There’s a spomenik here so obviously we briefly pointed our faces at that before heading to the reason we’d come here in the first place: the Roman mosaics at Villa Hypnos. Discovered in the 1930s, the ruins date back to the second century AD and contain the only known mosaic of the Greek god of sleep, Hypnos. Apparently the ruins used to be called Roman Villa with Mosaics but that isn’t as catchy. It’s super interesting actually, there are information boards talking about the archaeology in the area. Risan is the oldest settlement on the Bay of Kotor and has been knocking around in some form or other since the third century BC.

It’s also a nice place just to chill to be fair, much more relaxing than Kotor. We had some breakfast at a waterside café then got back on the bus to Perast which is back towards Kotor a little bit. This made me very glad we’d ditched the car for these last few days, it was utter parking carnage and it’s meant to be the quieter season now. Perast was buzzing! Full of people piling onto boats to a little island in the bay, and people trying to sell you aforementioned boat trips. It’s very pretty though, and it looks expensive, with tourists being ferried to their accommodation in golf buggies. Alright, fancy pants. I’m not even a little bit jealous. Maybe I like manhandling my bags up three flights of stairs to my budget accommodation that sounds like there’s goats fighting in the cistern whenever you flush the toilet. Nah I jest, I do prefer a better standard of accommodation these days, especially if I haven’t rage-quit my job in favour of gallivanting around the world and still have an income.

We wandered past a bell tower and noticed folks milling around up there so obviously we had to have a look. You can climb up about a million steps (give or take) after being warned to mind your head and not to ring the bells. My legs had opinions on all of this, they were expecting a much more chilled day. Tarrant very much had opinions on this, it was exactly a year ago today that she fell off a Segway and shattered her tibial plateau and she would rather have been much closer to the ground for the duration of the day. I did suggest she sit this one out but y’know, FOMO and all that. It’s a wee bit bum-clenchy when you’re a little bit nervous around heights but there are some lovely views. It’s worth it I think.

We stopped for a beer, grabbed a few cans from a little shop, then headed to what passes as a beach in Perast. It’s literally a slab of concrete but one end of it has trees so you can just chill and not lose the entirety of your epidermis to the sun. I will admit that the very far shady end smells very strongly of piss. Seriously, how necessary is it to piss there when you’ve got the whole fucking bay to unleash your bladder into? We found a space against the wall under a tree that didn’t stink like a urinal then just hung out for the afternoon, applying booze to our faceholes and nipping into the water to cool off. It was lovely. The concrete isn’t super comfortable and your bum will likely go a bit numb but at least you won’t be scraping sand out of your orifices for the following two days.

You don’t have to double back to the bus stop at the north-west end of the town, you can just keep on going back up to the highway and flag a bus down at the bus stop there so that’s what we did. You have to sort of guess what time the bus will roll past though, the timetables will only tell you what time it leaves each end so you have to try and work out how long it might take the bus to get to where you are then get there a little bit early. This technique had worked for us all day. We ended up bailing quite a bit before Kotor because the traffic was at a complete standstill. I’m assuming it was just due to the batshit quantity of vehicles and it’s something to bear in mind if you need to be anywhere for a certain time. I’m thinking airport. It’s a nice stroll along the bay to be fair. A lovely way to just cap off our chilled day before we went home to shower then in search of pizza to clog our arteries with.

A worthy Kotor mention is the Holy Shot bar which will happily ply you with shots and cocktails — two of my most favourite things. Please don’t tell my liver I said that. That’s where we finished our evening off, stuffed full of carbs and cheese and various alcoholic liquids with inadvisable sugar contents.

Jump to “Useful shit to know…”

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Risan, Kotor – Perast, Kotor, Montenegro

Stayed at: Apartment Sofija, Kotor Stari Grad

Useful shit to know…

• Blue Line run the buses around the bay.
• It cost €1.50 each per journey regardless of the length. It’s cash only.
• The starting point on the timetable pictured, Novo Naselje Škaljari, is just outside of Kotor. The bus came past the Riva stop at around 25 past the hour. I’d get there a bit earlier to be sure.
• The Riva stop is outside the Kotor old town walls at 42.423577, 18.770827.
• For a clearer and up to date timetable see the Blue Line website.
• The bus dropped us in Risan by the turn off to Villa Hypnos.
• To get back from Risan we waited at the shelter at 42.514208. 18.694609.
• It picked us up at around 25 past the hour.
• Coming from Kotor to Perast, the bus let people off sort of in the middle of the town but up on the highway, around 42.486754, 18.700198.
• Coming from Risan to Perast we were let off at the north-west end of town at 42.489684, 18.693437.
• We picked the bus up from Perast to Kotor at the south-east end at 42.48408, 18.707768. It came through at about 20 past the hour but please don’t accept this as a proper timetable!

• Entrance to Villa Hypnos was €6 each.
• It’s closed on Mondays, the whole of January, Orthodox Easter, and the 1st May.
• The bell tower in Perast costs €1 to climb up.
• The beach in Perast is at 42.484133, 18.705156, but when I say “beach” I mean “expanse of concrete”.