We woke up to rain pattering down onto the tent on Friday morning and it’s almost pleasant, lying under canvas (or sil-nylon, but that doesn’t sound as romantic) listening to the rain when you don’t have to pack up in it then proceed to walk for several miles wrapped in a crisp packet. It even had the decency to stop before I pissed myself because I didn’t want to leave the tent.

We had some adulting shit to do today at the Post Office. Y’know, sending stuff home, buying postcards and all that. Then we shuffled to Fat Jack’s Café, because shuffling will be the only forward movement we will be participating in over the next two days, to apply pasties to our faceholes. How long had we been in Cornwall now and not had a pasty? Like, ten days? Is that even legal? I’m surprised they hadn’t tracked us down and expelled us.

A spot more adulting in the form of buying food for lunch from the butchers and the farm shop then we headed back to the campsite. The campsite we’re on, Henry’s, is brilliant. As soon as you set foot in the place you instantly relax, it’s got a really good vibe. And five ducks that waddle around the place shouting at each other. The hiker pitches are lined with a huge plant I now know to be gunnera, it’s like a tropical garden full of plants that look like they’d eat your face if you got too close. I think our pitch was in a particularly stroppy robin’s territory though. He took to flying right up to us, landing on our possessions and looking right at us whilst shitting. Cheeky little fucker.

We’d promised ourselves prosecco every 500 miles and The Lizard was it. 521.92 miles to be precise so damn right we’d earned it. We went to The Witchball for dinner. Food was fucking great! Bubbles were even better. We were not sober humans as we shuffled back to the site and into bed.

Saturday morning and we were back to Fat Jack’s for a breakfast bap. So they also do vegan ice cream which they’ll put into a vegan milkshakes for you and given that it’s easier to get an ice cream for your dog than it is to get dairy free ice cream, Tarrant poured one into her chops. I had a taste and it was really good. We stocked up on a few dairy free flapjacks too before finishing up our sensible shopping at the butchers for the next couple of days.

It seems, however, there is a hole in my Thermarest. I like a firm mat but it had definitely been deflating overnight the last week or so and it had gotten really bad now. My poor, elderly back didn’t like it so we smothered it in soapy water to try and find the leak. I say “we”. It was mostly Tarrant. I lack the patience for this sort of thing and apparently shouting, “Well where the fuck is it, then?” at an inanimate object does not help find the hole. Turns out it’s in the seam which means it’s a bugger to fix, but as it’s a fault I can get it replaced under warranty. I do love my Thermarest but this will be the second one I’ve had to send back. I’ve got a spare at my parents’ so I’ll send this one off once I have that one.

Well that’s enough excitement for one day. We sat in the sun as Ron, the campsite owner, told us we should be out walking in this weather. Oh no, Ron. No we bloody shouldn’t. This is sit very still weather and we had no more plans to leave the site again today. We had plenty more walking ahead of us. All we intended to do now was assault our digestive systems with Stella Artois and two different kinds of barbecued pig, then we’d watch the singer they had playing tonight for an hour or so before getting a very early night.

We’ve had two wonderful days doing very little, we’ve actually felt like we’re on holiday. We’re a bit enamoured with The Lizard. There are two places to buy a limited selection of groceries and they’re both quite pricey, and we bought loads of dead shit from the butchers. Honestly, the quality you get from the butchers is noticeably different from the stuff you get from the supermarket. Add in all of our treats that we justified because, y’know, 500 fucking miles, and we might as well have handed our debit card and PIN over to the village as we entered. The Lizard hasn’t dented our budget so much as jumped it in a dark alley and beat it up. Our joint bank account is in tears.

STATS
Day: 38 & 39
Day on South West Coast Path: 28 & 29
Distance walked today: 0 miles
Total walked so far: 521.92 miles
Weather: Friday was pissing rain in the morning but cleared up to sunshine. Saturday was overcast but with some decent sunny spells.
Coldest temp last night: 14.56°C inside / 11.31°C outside and 13.38°C inside / 9.5°C outside
Trigs bagged: 0
Trigs to date: 33
“Have you read ‘The Salt Path?'” (Running Total): 7

Jump to “Useful shit to know…”

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The Lizard, Cornwall, England

Stayed at: Henry’s Campsite, The Lizard

Useful shit to know…

• You can get limited groceries from C&E Retallack which is the butchers, and from Tregullas Farm Shop.
• The nearest supermarket, a Co-op I believe, is in Mullion. Buses do exist but they’re infrequent and once you’re there you’ll have to wait a while to get back.
• There are public toilets in The Lizard village and at Lizard Point.
• Henry’s Campsite is pretty much in the village. I was told hikers can just show up but I would imagine it’s always worth calling ahead to check.
• The Witchball did get busy on the Friday night so if you want to eat you may wish to book. The food was lovely.
• Fat Jack’s does some vegan options including a vegan pasty and vegan ice cream.
• There is currently a small post office but apparently it’s under threat of closure if no-one wants to take it over.

BUDGET Day 38 for one person (based on two sharing)
Accommodation, Henry’s Campsite, The Lizard: £12
Groceries (butchers and farm shop): £7.76
Post Office stuff: £5.98
Phone charging: £0.50
Breakfast at Fat Jack’s: £8.20
Dinner at The Witchball : £45
Cans of beers at Henry’s: £1.90
Grand Total: £81.34

BUDGET Day 39 for one person (based on two sharing)
Accommodation, Henry’s Campsite, The Lizard: £12
Groceries (butchers): £13.09
Breakfast and snacks at Fat Jack’s: £15.08
Misc stuff from Henry’s: £1.65
Cans of beers at Henry’s: £7.60
Grand Total: £77.92