A Bit Of Underwater Mahé

Tarrant doesn’t dive but on account of her being The Best Girlfriend In The World™ she gives no shits if I abandon her for a day to go and make bubbles. I thought twice in one holiday might be pushing it but I think she likes having the day to herself to sacrifice her epidermis to the sun gods without me whining that I’m bored/hungry/too hot (delete as appropriate).

Dive Resort Seychelles was a mere stroll from Alha Villa so that’s who I went with and they’re fab. They got me kitted up and we all piled onto the boat. The water on the east coast of Praslin was a bit choppy last week. My brain didn’t appreciate the boat rides to the dive site one little bit and spent most of the day trying to convince the rest of my body it had been poisoned and should definitely expel everything at its earliest convenience. Here on the west coast of Mahé though it was lovely and still, plus the boat didn’t have to go far at all. Bliss.

The first site we went to was Oscar’s Reef. I’m not going to lie, the viz was fucking awful, the water full of plankton, but there was loads of lovely, healthy coral and plenty of fish to point your face at. There were these little bright blue fish that I couldn’t get enough of, little bolts of electric darting between the coral. We saw a big stingray that was minding its own business, doing its best to be covert and sand coloured until six bipeds showed up to silently stare at it.

There were starfish and sea cucumbers and, right at the end, several big batfish (which are probably the only fish I can pick out of a lineup) swimming right up to us and chasing our bubbles before realising they didn’t like the bubbles at all then repeating the whole three second cycle. They were brilliant to watch.


A surface interval later and we waded back out to the boat to go to a second dive site which, whilst not too far from the first, was a lot different. Whilst Oscar’s Reef was, well it was obviously a reef, One Tree Island is, well obviously it’s an island so we were diving around the granite rock. We weren’t under long at all when we saw a turtle, and I fucking adore turtles. I don’t think I will ever get bored of diving or snorkeling with turtles.

We watched it for a while until it buggered off, probably on account of the creepy land creatures bobbing around just staring at it whilst blowing bubbles, then a stingray casually meandered past us. The poor fucker had lost its sting though, its whole tail was missing. It was just a big, flappy, square pancake swimming on by.

That was a lot of excitement for the first ten minutes of a dive! The rest of it was uneventful but full of cool shit to put in your eyeholes. Obviously we didn’t time this trip for diving, if that had been the case we would have come here next January or something and probably have fucking melted on account of it being about 35°C. The water temperature was great, at least I thought so. I was fine in a 3mm shorty but the Divemaster was wearing two long wetsuits and still complaining he was cold.

Behold this juvenile emperor angelfish.

Anyway. I filled out my log book and headed back to Alha Villa to see if Tarrant had taken liquid form in the sun yet. Turned out her attempts at a relaxing pool day were scuppered by other holiday makers and their screaming demon spawn. She really should just learn to dive. It’s much quieter at 18 metres.

Jump to “Useful shit to know…”

Anse á la Mouche, Mahé, The Seychelles

Stayed at: Alha Villa, Anse a la Mouche, Mahé

Alha Villa. This is a photo of the actual villa we stayed in. That’s our little jungle porch. You’ll need your body weight in DEET but they also come round with citronella sticks and the mozzies only bother you at sunset. Apart from that it’s quiet and set well away from the main road but it’s less than a ten minute walk to a shop and the beach. There are no ATMs close to here but you’re close to bus routes if you need one. The pool is lovely, you can buy beer and meals from them which is seriously convenient. The staff are so lovely and attentive. The bedroom was air conditioned and the kitchen did everything we needed it to. Would absolutely recommend staying here.

Useful shit to know…

  • Viz at this time of year isn’t great but that’s no one’s fault. It’s just something to bear in mind. The water was full of plankton today.
  • The staff at Dive Resort Seychelles are fantastic. Really lovely and they’ve got the bants down.
  • It’s €70 each for one dive or €120 for two but they obviously won’t only take one diver out. There needs to be people going out already.

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