Caving For Pussies: Sagada Edition

We've not dragged out sleep deprived carcasses out of bed for a sunrise for a while and apparently Kiltepan Peak is the place to go. We knew we could get a car to take us there for ₱350 (good for as many humans as you can fit in the car I guess?) but we didn't [...]

A Brief History Of Singapore

All of the moisture in my head had been replaced with sand in the night. I looked around for the badger whose arse I felt like I'd been licking. Ugh. Fuck alcohol, I'm never drinking again* (* Terms and conditions apply). The gorgeous shower at the hostel went some way to restoring some shred of [...]

It’s Not Breakfast If It Doesn’t Stop Your Heart

So kaya toast has been added firmly to the list of "shit I enjoy applying liberally to my facehole." We went to Ya Kun Kaya Toast where you can choose from set meals which include two soft boiled eggs cracked into a bowl and a cuppa, and when I say soft boiled I'm talking only [...]

The Superest Trees In All The World

Singapore is the perfect antidote to the trauma (*dramatically presses back of hand to forehead*) of spending the best part of two weeks face down in a pool of your own rancid sweat because your left lung somehow managed to pick up a dose of fucking pneumonia somewhere along the line. Only my left lung, [...]

The Cheekiest Of All The Monkeys

We headed to Ubud with Candi and John, two humans staying in our hotel in Lovina who we'd befriended, and when you first arrive in Ubud after you've been relaxing on the beach or in the hills, all of your basic motor functions get scared and suddenly you don't want to stay in a hostel [...]

The Human Buttocks Are Not Made For Scooters

When you want to get a super early start so you can watch the sunrise over some UNESCO rice terraces but the guy at the homestay won't stop feeding you, though to be fair driving round the hills in the dark with no headlight probably wasn't the best plan ever so he might have saved [...]

The Biggest Buddhist Monument, Like, Ever

You're meant to get up for sunrise at Borobudur. You can either pay someone to scoot you up the sunrise hill, or you can cycle there and walk up it, or you can fuck it off all together in favour of a bit longer in bed. Option three please, Borobudur. The sunrise point isn't far [...]