Tea, Spices And General Munnar-ness

Bugger me backwards, it was cold this morning. Definitely cold enough to make your nipples sit up and take notice. And you don't have to worry about Benoy's early morning song singing waking you up because the fucking rooster will have you awake at 4am anyway. I really, really don't like roosters. Like, at all. [...]

Worship At The Alter Of Tea

God I love tea. I love it so much. I don't think there's any other liquid that I revere above tea, not even beer or Jägermeister and I'm pretty fucking fond of both of those things. Tea is the one that's there for me the morning after to pick up the pieces after beer and [...]

Bamboo Rafting On The Periyar Lake

This morning we'd arranged to have Satheeth to pick us up after breakfast. Yeah, I know we were due to get enough food to keep us going for about three days, I only ate a fraction of my packed lunch yesterday, but guys. A chick cannot live off bread alone. She needs a mystery breakfast [...]

Brave Adventuring And Fully Justified Fleeing

I knew we were getting packed lunches today but I always worry that I'm not going to be given enough food and I'll wither away and die in minutes, so we got up especially early to get our overpriced park entry tickets and get some breakfast in our faceholes before we went to the border [...]

Kicking Arse, Keralan Style

Eight hours on an overnight government bus is about as much fun as being repeatedly kicked in the arse by an angry donkey wearing cramp-ons and causes a similar amount of buttock pain. It wouldn't be so bad but I'd clearly decided to get to Kumily the difficult way, the sane way being to catch [...]

Thanks For The Good Times, Varkala

I'm a sucker for a view, me. Any chance to get up high and have a look around and I'll probably take it provided it doesn't involve me edging too close to a sheer drop that doesn't accommodate a nice, stable handrail given my balance or lack thereof. And the best way to get a [...]

Slow Down Before You Hurt Yourself

Well yesterday was pretty hectic. Though to be fair, "hectic" by Varkala standards basically means "I got out of the hammock and remained upright for more than twenty consecutive minutes." This in itself results in collapsing dramatically into a chair at one of the restaurants and asking for a Kingfisher Gold in between gasps as [...]

Non-Denominational Holiday Wishes

Generic non-denominational forced holiday happiness wishes to y'all. Despite the photos I didn't spend my whole afternoon frolicking in the waves. Mainly I spent it stuffing various food products into my facehole at the Coffee Temple which is run by an English dude, ergo managed to produce a suitably satisfying roast lunch, before I went [...]

Killing Time

Me and zoos have an uneasy relationship. On one hand, animals shouldn't be kept in captivity. If they've been plucked from the wild and enclosed in a zoo then that's not something I want to look at. Buuuut if they were born in captivity and that's all they know and the zoo treats them well [...]

Varkala’s Expensive Little Sister

So me and Jill had rocked up to Trivandrum in the pissing rain and did that thing where you ask every other person where the actual fuck you're meant to catch the bus to Kovalam because Indian directions often involve a vague hand wave in a general direction with a "and then you turn left... [...]