Sooooo you know what's not fun? Catching a bus with all of your bags when you're still not sure if your digestive system is ready to rejoin civilised society. I chucked a couple of precautionary tablets down my throat and we went to the end of the road to wait for the bus to Mapusa. [...]
I am literally the only person in the whole of Goa who insists on wearing a helmet whilst on a scooter. True story. It's not like the helmet in question would offer any manner of protection if I did fall off, it's a flimsy, cracked thing and I've seen better quality head gear in the [...]
It's awkward saying hello to your partner who you've not seen for nearly four months when you're queer in India, they've criminalised gays and lesbians here so we could only greet each other with sort of an awkward hug which sucks when all you want to do is snog someone's face off. I had no [...]
India is fucking huge, but you only realise how huge it really is when you try and get from one place to another. It takes 23 hours to get from Bangalore to Mumbai by train. Twenty three whole, actual hours. If you travelled anywhere in the UK for 23 hours by any means of transportation [...]
I'm in Bangalore on account of the fact it seemed like a vaguely sane place to book a train back up to Mumbai from. The fact that trains have to be booked half your life in advance means you have to hazard guesses about where you might want to be at some distant point in [...]
The bus journey to Mysore was a proper treat for the eyeholes. The spinal column though? Not so much. The road takes you through the tiger reserve so the scenery is gorgeous, but the only way to slow down drivers over here is with speed bumps. Lots and lots of those little triple bumps which [...]
It was around 6am when I hopped off the bus in Udhagamandalam and all of the water in my face cells promptly froze. I'm not even shitting you. Ooty (as it's commonly known because Udhagamandalam just looks like drunk texting) is cold at this time of year. Fucking cold. We're talking frost on the ground, [...]
Kodaikanal basically has one job and that's to sit there and look pretty, and it does it incredibly well. It's high up here, about 2100 m.a.s.l. so it gets pretty chilly at night which is basically a politer way of saying "Fuck my life, you could fashion diamonds with my nipples right now!" I'm not [...]
The road from Munnar to Madurai probably registers about the same on the oh-em-eff-gee-it's-stunning rating as it does on the shit-your-pants rating, so that makes the narrows roads with the sheers drop to the left slightly easier to deal with then. The road was blocked by a fuck off great big rock the other day [...]
Bugger me backwards, it was cold this morning. Definitely cold enough to make your nipples sit up and take notice. And you don't have to worry about Benoy's early morning song singing waking you up because the fucking rooster will have you awake at 4am anyway. I really, really don't like roosters. Like, at all. [...]
Travel & Shit 