Sooooo you know what's not fun? Catching a bus with all of your bags when you're still not sure if your digestive system is ready to rejoin civilised society. I chucked a couple of precautionary tablets down my throat and we went to the end of the road to wait for the bus to Mapusa. [...]
I am literally the only person in the whole of Goa who insists on wearing a helmet whilst on a scooter. True story. It's not like the helmet in question would offer any manner of protection if I did fall off, it's a flimsy, cracked thing and I've seen better quality head gear in the [...]
I'm in Bangalore on account of the fact it seemed like a vaguely sane place to book a train back up to Mumbai from. The fact that trains have to be booked half your life in advance means you have to hazard guesses about where you might want to be at some distant point in [...]
The bus journey to Mysore was a proper treat for the eyeholes. The spinal column though? Not so much. The road takes you through the tiger reserve so the scenery is gorgeous, but the only way to slow down drivers over here is with speed bumps. Lots and lots of those little triple bumps which [...]
It was around 6am when I hopped off the bus in Udhagamandalam and all of the water in my face cells promptly froze. I'm not even shitting you. Ooty (as it's commonly known because Udhagamandalam just looks like drunk texting) is cold at this time of year. Fucking cold. We're talking frost on the ground, [...]
Kodaikanal basically has one job and that's to sit there and look pretty, and it does it incredibly well. It's high up here, about 2100 m.a.s.l. so it gets pretty chilly at night which is basically a politer way of saying "Fuck my life, you could fashion diamonds with my nipples right now!" I'm not [...]
The road from Munnar to Madurai probably registers about the same on the oh-em-eff-gee-it's-stunning rating as it does on the shit-your-pants rating, so that makes the narrows roads with the sheers drop to the left slightly easier to deal with then. The road was blocked by a fuck off great big rock the other day [...]
God I love tea. I love it so much. I don't think there's any other liquid that I revere above tea, not even beer or Jägermeister and I'm pretty fucking fond of both of those things. Tea is the one that's there for me the morning after to pick up the pieces after beer and [...]
Eight hours on an overnight government bus is about as much fun as being repeatedly kicked in the arse by an angry donkey wearing cramp-ons and causes a similar amount of buttock pain. It wouldn't be so bad but I'd clearly decided to get to Kumily the difficult way, the sane way being to catch [...]
Kanyakumari is basically as far south as you can go in India. If you tried to go any further south you'd probably drown. You wouldn't even know which ocean you actually drowned in either on account of the fact that this is where three oceans meet, it'd be like some manner of water inhalation lottery. [...]
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