So me and Jill had rocked up to Trivandrum in the pissing rain and did that thing where you ask every other person where the actual fuck you're meant to catch the bus to Kovalam because Indian directions often involve a vague hand wave in a general direction with a "and then you turn left... [...]
I feel like everything has slowed right the fuck down since I got to Kerala. Everything. My natural walking pace has gone from "relaxed amble" to "practically backwards" and my food consumption speed has had to be re-designated "acceptable rate of shovelling," two notches down from the previous "rapid inhalation." The locals are so friendly [...]
Ok, so, whilst I was looking for somewhere to stay in Alappuzha, a friend recommended the amazing Alleppey 3 Palms Guest House which only cost me ₹350 per night and this included dinner and as much tea and coffee as my bladder could take before it went on strike in protest, and there wasn't even [...]
Life in Fort Cochin is a non-stop adventure assuming that by "non-stop adventure" you mean sitting around a lot whilst consuming tea and cake. Other activities include walking around looking at the various tourist attractions, but really really slowly so you don't do everything in four minutes. More of a stroll, really. Or an amble. [...]
Train is definitely my favourite way to get around India ay. Buses are great and all that and you don't have to book half your life in advance but they're not as comfortable, you can't get up and walk around and if you decide you need the toilet well, that's just tough titties, sweetheart. Sometimes [...]
So I ended up giving myself the afternoon off from being a tourist today. I wasn't going to, I came to Kannur to see if I could find a Theyyam possession ritual to wrap my eyeballs around but I ended up scrapping that idea in favour of miming to power ballads in the mirror in [...]
That awkward moment when a mother uses you to threaten her child! I was in Malpe waiting for a boat along with an Indian family and suddenly I realised what she was saying to her sprog; "Do you want her to take you away? Do you want to go with her? Or do you want [...]
I don't usually go in for beach holidays, partially on account of the fact I get bored easily and sprawling across a sarong whilst my tender, English flesh slow roasts to an unrecognisable crisp isn't my idea of fun. But mainly, it's sand. I fucking hate sand. Sand is way too keen to get into [...]
I didn't do much in Mumbai on account of the fact I want to do it properly with the mrs when she comes to visit so I have decided to use bullet points for this very short post on account of the fact bullet points make things look tidy and important even if it's a [...]
I fucking hate cooking. It stresses me out. I can't time things to cook together which results in having to eat a meal in sections and yes, this includes beans on toast. On more than one occasion I've accidentally grilled something instead of turning on the oven, and one of these times I'd just finished [...]
Travel & Shit 